I loved Beau from the moment I first saw his adorable face and striped hoodie!
I dreamed of the day I would get to hold him and kiss him and cuddle him! Some people say that once your child is home, you forget the pain of the wait. I have to say that although that pain is gone, I will never forget the way my heart ached to have him home. Until you have been an ocean away from your child, it is a feeling you can't really explain.
July 28, 2011 was a magical day! Raleigh and I were surrounded by both sets of our parents and many friends as we waited to meet our son! I have to say that in that moment, I really wasn't nervous. I was just excited.
When we saw Beau for the first, my heart instantly swelled!
I was full of love and pride for my beautiful baby boy! Even though Beau was 13 months old at homecoming, he was a tiny little peanut weighing 19 pounds and very much still a baby in many ways!
Beau was very scared his first few days and weeks home. He mostly sat in my lap and ate seaweed for three days, barely even lifting his head. Looking back at the pictures, I can see how afraid he was.
After three days home, he finally showed us that he could crawl. It was precious and our whole family was cheering for him. It was a small step, but he was becoming more comfortable every day. My heart continued to swell with love.
Beau missed his omma very much and cried for her every single night for almost three months. His grieving was always the worst at night, crying for his omma. In the middle of the night when Raleigh and I had tried everything we could imagine to help settle his little heart and mind, I would take him downstairs to the couch. I would just hold him on the couch while he cried and I would read aloud from my Bible. Sometimes I felt like I had run out of prayers for his little heart, but I knew that the Holy Spirit would meet us there as we just read the Word. The sleepless nights were not always easy, but the Lord always met us there. That's not to say I wasn't tired, I was. By about month 2, I felt completely exhausted and I thought I might never sleep again, like any new mom.
We were so thankful for any moment of sleep that Beau was able to get.
Slowly but surely we found our new normal, and we established a daily rhythm of life as a family of three. Each month has been a miracle of God's goodness. Don't you love how in Romans 4 God reminds us of his promise to give life and his promise to call forth things that are not yet there. Raleigh and I rest in the promises of the Lord for Beau's life. God is continuing to call forth things in Beau that are not yet there. God has been and will continue to be faithful to Beau. He will finish the good work that he has begun in Beau's life. Praise God that Raleigh and I are not in charge of Beau's destiny. Yes, we have countless responsibilities as parents, but ultimately we have given Beau back to the Lord. The Lord can be trusted with Beau's mind, body, and soul. Beau's salvation comes from the Lord. I remember how my mom told me that in the moment I was born, she whispered a prayer telling God that she was giving me to him for my whole life. I didn't realize how powerful that prayer was until now.
Beau showed us his first smile in August 2011. We love that squishy face!
Little Beau experienced much loss in his first year of life...the goodbye of a birth mother that gave him life, 2 weeks in a hospital to be cared for by a variety of doctors and nurses but no permanent caregiver, Beau's first foster mom in his birth city, and a foster mom in Seoul that cared for him until he came home to us. After all of those transitions, it is only the extravagant love of Jesus that can continue to make his heart whole and give him a joyful spirit.
With each passing month, Beau was more and more comfortable in his new home.
I pray that Beau's life will make much of Jesus. I want God's glory to shine through Beau's smile. Beau is made in the image of a loving God. A God that delights and sings over him. Raleigh and I pray every single night that Beau would come to know Jesus at a very early age. We pray every single day that when Beau faces challenges in life, as we all do, that he would remember that the Lord is his very present help in time of trouble. That the Lord is near the broken hearted.
The joy that Beau has brought to our lives cannot be put into words. Thank you Beau for continuing to teach me how to love well. I love you fiercely and I could not love you any more even you grew in my tummy.
At one year home, you have blossomed into a handsome, smart, active toddler! You know that we are your parents and you love your home!
Ready for dinner...August 2011.
I pray today, and everyday, that your birth mom and foster moms would have peace in their hearts. I know that July 28, 2011 was a hard day for your foster mom that cared for you for almost a year, because she had to tell you goodbye. I pray that her heart has peace and she knows that you are loved. Also, we pray that we can thank her on Earth or in Heaven for teaching you about Jesus while you lived with her. She said that you loved watching preachers on tv and she thought you might even be a preacher. Who knows? Maybe you will be sweet Beau!
Baby Beau, we promise to love you forever, no matter what! You are our son and we couldn't be more thrilled to be your parents!
Happy One Year Home!
July 2011 July 2012
Beau Comes Home from Brandon Gresham on Vimeo.
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