In honor of our upcoming 7th anniversary...
Thank you Raleigh for being YOU! Thank you for standing beside me the last (almost) seven years of marriage, but especially the last few months.
I love you!
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
It Takes A Village
Before I had children, I thought that the saying, "It takes a village to raise a child" was very foolish. I was naive and thought that a loving mom and dad was the only thing necessary to raise a child.
Then I became a mom.
A village around the world helped raise Beau. His birth mom cared for him for his first precious days of life. Then when his birth mom made the excruciating decision to make an adoption plan, he spent two weeks in the hospital to take care of a few health issues. I have to believe that during his stay in the hospital, there were compassionate nurses who loved him as their own since he had no permanent caretaker with him at that time. Then his loving foster families stood in the gap for us until we were united as a family.
Then came Palmer. Once again, the village (the body of Christ) stepped in just when they were needed.
I have to thank my family for being there for us.
When I went into labor in Nashville, my cousin Erica immediately drove to hospice to be with my mom because we would need to drop Beau off there. So my mom and Erica watched Beau at my dad's hospital while Raleigh and I got checked in down the road. My mom would do absolutely anything for Beau, and now Palmer too.
Once I started pushing, my mom, Erica, and Beau came to our hospital. One of my parent's neighbors was visiting my dad and he helped get all of Beau's stuff (2 year olds have a lot of stuff) to the car.
My aunt Carolyn stayed with my dad at hospice to help him order dinner and cut his food once it was delivered.
One of the many blessings of delivering Palmer in Nashville is that my family was able to be there to celebrate with us. Thanks Erica, Matt, Kaitlin, Sarah, and Carolyn for being there.
When I went into labor, my sister in law Stacey and sweet baby Grey drove from Birmingham to Nashville. Brandon drove from North Carolina, where he had just completed a photo shoot.
My sister Angie had just driven home after being in Nashville with my dad the night he was moved to hospice. She drove back to Nashville to celebrate Palmer's arrival.
Obviously we did not quite have everything we needed, so Erica, Angie, Brandon and Stacey set up a complete "nursery" at my parents' house....complete with a pack and play, a diaper genie, clothes, diapers, wipes, baby washcloths, etc, etc. Seriously they thought of everything.
My mom moved out of the master bedroom and into a guest bedroom so that we would have plenty of space.
Erica, Angie, Brandon and Stacey even had to take off work to help with Beau. Obviously under different circumstances, my mom would have stayed with Beau. But my mom needed to be with my dad. I really cannot thank everyone enough for everything! Raleigh and I could relax at the hospital with Palmer knowing that Beau was being taken care of.
Raleigh's mom hopped on a plane from Colorado to be there with us once we got discharged from the hospital. She anticipated what we would need before we even knew we needed it...from diaper changes, meal cooking, laundry, etc...
My niece Cayci taught Palmer to use his paci one night at hospice when my mom and I left the room for a few minutes to grab Subway.
Once my dad passed away, the village continued to love us well. My aunts took care of Palmer during the memorial service. I wanted him there with me, but did not want him passed around all day. Obviously everyone wanted to meet him, but he was only one week old, so I wanted to be wise about protecting him from too many germs. So my aunts kept him in the church. They fed him bottles, changed his diapers, etc. I really didn't even know where he was in the church, when he ate, or anything. I just handed him over with the diaper bag and knew that he was well cared for and had nothing to worry about.
Raleigh's sister Beth, who flew in from Colorado, took care of Beau during the visitation portion of the memorial service. I knew that he would not be able to stand still during 2 hours of visitation, nor would it really be appropriate for him to be there. So he stayed home with Beth. I did however want him at the service portion of the day. My dad loved Beau so much. I mean my dad's whole face lit up when Beau was around. One night in the hospital shortly before my dad moved to hospice, Beau practically ate my dad's whole dinner off of my dad's fork. My dad always said that Beau's germs were good germs. Anyway, we had a celebratory tone at the service, and I knew my dad would want him there. So Beth brought him and sat with him at the service.
I know I am unintentionally leaving people out, but it took a village of family members to raise Beau and Palmer thus far, and I know that there will continue to be seasons of life when the village is needed again.
Thank you to everyone for loving us well during this season of life.
Then I became a mom.
A village around the world helped raise Beau. His birth mom cared for him for his first precious days of life. Then when his birth mom made the excruciating decision to make an adoption plan, he spent two weeks in the hospital to take care of a few health issues. I have to believe that during his stay in the hospital, there were compassionate nurses who loved him as their own since he had no permanent caretaker with him at that time. Then his loving foster families stood in the gap for us until we were united as a family.
Then came Palmer. Once again, the village (the body of Christ) stepped in just when they were needed.
I have to thank my family for being there for us.
When I went into labor in Nashville, my cousin Erica immediately drove to hospice to be with my mom because we would need to drop Beau off there. So my mom and Erica watched Beau at my dad's hospital while Raleigh and I got checked in down the road. My mom would do absolutely anything for Beau, and now Palmer too.
Once I started pushing, my mom, Erica, and Beau came to our hospital. One of my parent's neighbors was visiting my dad and he helped get all of Beau's stuff (2 year olds have a lot of stuff) to the car.
My aunt Carolyn stayed with my dad at hospice to help him order dinner and cut his food once it was delivered.
One of the many blessings of delivering Palmer in Nashville is that my family was able to be there to celebrate with us. Thanks Erica, Matt, Kaitlin, Sarah, and Carolyn for being there.
When I went into labor, my sister in law Stacey and sweet baby Grey drove from Birmingham to Nashville. Brandon drove from North Carolina, where he had just completed a photo shoot.
My sister Angie had just driven home after being in Nashville with my dad the night he was moved to hospice. She drove back to Nashville to celebrate Palmer's arrival.
Obviously we did not quite have everything we needed, so Erica, Angie, Brandon and Stacey set up a complete "nursery" at my parents' house....complete with a pack and play, a diaper genie, clothes, diapers, wipes, baby washcloths, etc, etc. Seriously they thought of everything.
My mom moved out of the master bedroom and into a guest bedroom so that we would have plenty of space.
Erica, Angie, Brandon and Stacey even had to take off work to help with Beau. Obviously under different circumstances, my mom would have stayed with Beau. But my mom needed to be with my dad. I really cannot thank everyone enough for everything! Raleigh and I could relax at the hospital with Palmer knowing that Beau was being taken care of.
Raleigh's mom hopped on a plane from Colorado to be there with us once we got discharged from the hospital. She anticipated what we would need before we even knew we needed it...from diaper changes, meal cooking, laundry, etc...
My niece Cayci taught Palmer to use his paci one night at hospice when my mom and I left the room for a few minutes to grab Subway.
Once my dad passed away, the village continued to love us well. My aunts took care of Palmer during the memorial service. I wanted him there with me, but did not want him passed around all day. Obviously everyone wanted to meet him, but he was only one week old, so I wanted to be wise about protecting him from too many germs. So my aunts kept him in the church. They fed him bottles, changed his diapers, etc. I really didn't even know where he was in the church, when he ate, or anything. I just handed him over with the diaper bag and knew that he was well cared for and had nothing to worry about.
Raleigh's sister Beth, who flew in from Colorado, took care of Beau during the visitation portion of the memorial service. I knew that he would not be able to stand still during 2 hours of visitation, nor would it really be appropriate for him to be there. So he stayed home with Beth. I did however want him at the service portion of the day. My dad loved Beau so much. I mean my dad's whole face lit up when Beau was around. One night in the hospital shortly before my dad moved to hospice, Beau practically ate my dad's whole dinner off of my dad's fork. My dad always said that Beau's germs were good germs. Anyway, we had a celebratory tone at the service, and I knew my dad would want him there. So Beth brought him and sat with him at the service.
I know I am unintentionally leaving people out, but it took a village of family members to raise Beau and Palmer thus far, and I know that there will continue to be seasons of life when the village is needed again.
Thank you to everyone for loving us well during this season of life.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Memory Verses
My mom and I have decided that we are going to begin intentionally memorizing scripture over the next year. (My cousins Erica and Sarah are joining us too! ) Committing scripture to memory is one small way we can honor God as we celebrate my dad's life and legacy.
We can so easily memorize song lyrics, lines to a favorite movie, etc. Why can it sometimes seem more challenging to commit verses to memory? Whether experiencing great joy or sadness, knowing verses that you can recall and recite from memory is so powerful. There is power in the word of God!
Maybe you too are in a place in life where it might be helpful to commit more verses to memory. Maybe you are in the midst of a job change and want to thank God for his goodness. Or maybe you are in the middle of an adoption and are waiting on your precious child to come home. It can be undeniably painful when you know your child is growing and changing each day that you wait to bring him or her home. Maybe, like me, you are in a place where joy and sadness are colliding at once. Or maybe life if going well right now and you are not necessarily on the mountaintop or in the valley.
Whatever your life circumstance, scripture memory is always a good thing. Ephesians tells us that the word of God is the sword of the spirit. So let's sharpen our swords by storing scripture in our hearts! Then use your sword to fight away the devil when he starts to attack your mind with worry, doubt, fear, grief, etc.
We have decided to start by learning Psalm 119:11 and Isaiah 43:2 by the end of June.
Would you join us?
I created a pdf (ok...let's be honest...Raleigh created the pdf) for each of this month's verses. The memory cards can be used in a variety of ways. You can print them and cut them out and punch a hole in one and add to a ring. Each month add a new memory verse to the ring. Or maybe tape a card to your bathroom mirror or refrigerator door. Or maybe you keep a few in your purse in case the Lord leads you to give one to a friend. The possibilities are endless.
Below are the links to the first two verses. Our goal is to learn both of these by the end of June.
Click HERE for Psalm 119:11 memory verse cards.
Click HERE for Isaiah 43:2 memory verse cards.
We can so easily memorize song lyrics, lines to a favorite movie, etc. Why can it sometimes seem more challenging to commit verses to memory? Whether experiencing great joy or sadness, knowing verses that you can recall and recite from memory is so powerful. There is power in the word of God!
Maybe you too are in a place in life where it might be helpful to commit more verses to memory. Maybe you are in the midst of a job change and want to thank God for his goodness. Or maybe you are in the middle of an adoption and are waiting on your precious child to come home. It can be undeniably painful when you know your child is growing and changing each day that you wait to bring him or her home. Maybe, like me, you are in a place where joy and sadness are colliding at once. Or maybe life if going well right now and you are not necessarily on the mountaintop or in the valley.
Whatever your life circumstance, scripture memory is always a good thing. Ephesians tells us that the word of God is the sword of the spirit. So let's sharpen our swords by storing scripture in our hearts! Then use your sword to fight away the devil when he starts to attack your mind with worry, doubt, fear, grief, etc.
We have decided to start by learning Psalm 119:11 and Isaiah 43:2 by the end of June.
Would you join us?
I created a pdf (ok...let's be honest...Raleigh created the pdf) for each of this month's verses. The memory cards can be used in a variety of ways. You can print them and cut them out and punch a hole in one and add to a ring. Each month add a new memory verse to the ring. Or maybe tape a card to your bathroom mirror or refrigerator door. Or maybe you keep a few in your purse in case the Lord leads you to give one to a friend. The possibilities are endless.
Below are the links to the first two verses. Our goal is to learn both of these by the end of June.
Click HERE for Psalm 119:11 memory verse cards.
Click HERE for Isaiah 43:2 memory verse cards.
Psalm 119:11 (NIV)
I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.
Isaiah 43:2 (NLT)
When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you.
Friday, May 17, 2013
Food Truck Fun
Last night we enjoyed eating at a local food truck park. It was a great night to be outside.
One Month Check-Up
Today baby Palmer had his one month check up. The milestone of the passing of time brought great joy in remembering the miracle of his birth, but also sadness in knowing that it also means my dad has almost been gone one month. But I do not linger there, because God has purpose in my grief and my dad would not want me to be sad for too long. The Lord upholds those who trust in him and the Lord is upholding me and and my family during this time of great joy and great mourning.
"Christ is most glorified in us, when we are most satisfied in him." -John Piper
If we believe that to be true, than our vocation is to pursue our satisfaction in him all the time. I pray that during my joy and my grief, I will point others to the greatness of Christ. Just like Paul talks about in Philippians 1:20, I want others to say, "Christ is great" when they see how I live. I know my dad honored God in both life and death and is now enjoying the fullness of Christ's joy!
So...back to the update!
Today, Palmer's weight is 8 lbs 1 oz (5th %) and his height is 20.75 inches (17th %). Yippee! He is growing!
Here is a recap of his growth!
April 14 (born at 36 weeks 4 days) weight: 6 lbs, 7 oz height: 18.75 inches
April 16 (discharge date) weight: 6 lbs, 0 oz height: 18.75 inches
April 26 (2 week check-up) weight: 6 lbs, 6 oz height: 19.00 inches
May 17 (1 month update) weight: 8 lbs, 1 oz height: 20.75 inches
It was a great check-up and Palmer was a perfect little Georgia peach the entire time. The doctor said that if I continue to feed him every 2 hours during the day, I can let him sleep as long as possible during the night. For now he is still waking up every couple of hours at night, but at least I know that if he does start sleeping longer at night, I don't have to wake him up to feed him,
We love you Palmer!
"Christ is most glorified in us, when we are most satisfied in him." -John Piper
If we believe that to be true, than our vocation is to pursue our satisfaction in him all the time. I pray that during my joy and my grief, I will point others to the greatness of Christ. Just like Paul talks about in Philippians 1:20, I want others to say, "Christ is great" when they see how I live. I know my dad honored God in both life and death and is now enjoying the fullness of Christ's joy!
So...back to the update!
Today, Palmer's weight is 8 lbs 1 oz (5th %) and his height is 20.75 inches (17th %). Yippee! He is growing!
Here is a recap of his growth!
April 14 (born at 36 weeks 4 days) weight: 6 lbs, 7 oz height: 18.75 inches
April 16 (discharge date) weight: 6 lbs, 0 oz height: 18.75 inches
April 26 (2 week check-up) weight: 6 lbs, 6 oz height: 19.00 inches
May 17 (1 month update) weight: 8 lbs, 1 oz height: 20.75 inches
It was a great check-up and Palmer was a perfect little Georgia peach the entire time. The doctor said that if I continue to feed him every 2 hours during the day, I can let him sleep as long as possible during the night. For now he is still waking up every couple of hours at night, but at least I know that if he does start sleeping longer at night, I don't have to wake him up to feed him,
We love you Palmer!
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Lord I Need You
Lord, I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You're the One that guides my heart
Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
Where sin runs deep Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are, Lord, I am free
Holiness is Christ in me
Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
Teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus, You're my hope and stay
Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
You're my one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Happy One Month Baby Palmer
Happy One Month Palmer! Since Palmer isn't old enough to make his own decisions yet, we spent the day enjoying Beau's favorite things...lunch at Chick-fil-a and all afternoon playing outside!
The Butterfly Effect
During my dad's time in hospice, one of his nurses from the oncology floor came down for a visit. My dad was non-responsive at the time, but the nurse told us about how she believed my dad's life and legacy would have a butterfly effect.
The butterfly effect is the idea that even the smallest event, like the flapping of butterfly wings, can have a huge impact on the world.
At the time, I didn't think much of it, but as time has passed, it has come to mean more.
In the three weeks since my dad's passing, I have heard more and more stories of my dad's impact on the lives of others.
Last week while I was in Nashville visiting my mom, we popped into Publix one night. While we were there a sweet, young cashier approached us. She told us how my dad encouraged her to go back to college. She is now attending a community college in Nashville. She told my mom that if she ever needed anything, just to let her know. She could even "call in" her grocery order if needed and they would have it waiting for her at the front. Let's be honest...most people do not take time to build relationships with the cashiers at the grocery store. My dad had a transformative impact on her life by encouraging her to pursue a college degree.
One day my mom stopped to speak to the mail carrier. The mail carrier mentioned how we had been receiving quite a few cards, so my mom told her that my dad had passed away. The mail carrier told my mom how my dad had always been so kind to her. She mentioned how he always gave her gifts at the holidays. My dad really tried to show appreciation to members of the community that sometimes have thankless jobs. The mail carrier told my mom her name and route number and said to contact her anytime if the USPS can ever do anything to help.
My parents have had the same gentleman take care of their lawn for many years. The gentleman never raised his price after many years, so my dad gave him a "raise" one day and tried to teach him a little business savvy. Now almost every family on my parent's street employs this gentleman to take care of their lawns....all because my dad helped him build his business and gain more customers.
The oncology nurses at the hospital sent my dad the kindest card during his final days. In the card, they wrote a note to my parents. They described how when my parents first came onto the oncology unit, the nurses were there to show support and care to my parents. But in the end, they said that my parents made the nurses feel loved, safe, and cared for. My parents entered each new day with hope and truly loved each other well during each season of life....in sickness and in health. This love was evident to all, even during their stay on the oncology floor. Each day of my dad's hospice stay, the oncology nurses would stop by for a visit because my dad had such a positive impact on their lives.
Several neighbors wrote letters to my dad. One letter was written by a former marine. He is a very kind man that my mom and I called on the morning of February 20th when my dad lost his ability to feel his legs. We needed to get my dad to the hospital so we called two neighbors to help carry my dad down the stairs and help get him into the car. During this event, my dad's mind was very sharp and he actually told the two neighbors the best way to get him down the stairs. In his letter to my dad, this particular neighbor listed this characteristics of a marine and then went on to describe how my dad's life displayed each of the characteristics. He ended the letter by saying that my dad would have made a great marine.
Another neighbor's heartfelt letter thanked my dad for all he had done for the neighborhood and for the love he displayed to my mom.
Since my dad's passing, my mom has had several visits from one of the local police officers. My parent's home is in a very nice neighborhood in a great area of town. But there was a time not too long ago when there was some riff raff happening on their street. My parents were the first to notice the influx of cars coming in and out of a particular house. My dad led the effort to "clean up" the street. He did a ton of research and had it ready for the local police department. He would take licence plate numbers of repeat cars coming in and out of the house in question. My dad formed a bond with one of the police officers during all of this. Basically my dad saw the patrol car one day, and just stopped him and told him what was going on and gave the officer the folder of all of the notes my dad had taken. In the end, the swat team found drugs, counterfeit money, etc in the home. The home has been sold to new owners and there is now a sweet, young family living in that home. Had my dad not taken action, who knows how long the riff raff would have continued. The police officer has increased patrol on my parent's street since my mom now lives alone and has given her his number in case she ever needs anything from the police department.
I don't think we will ever know the number of people whose lives my dad has impacted. His legacy is already having a ripple effect in the community. He treated people the way he wanted to be treated and people felt safe and loved and cared for when he was around. He had a way to solve any type of problem. Even if he didn't have the expertise to solve a problem, he could always find someone to help.
Just like the flapping of tiny butterfly wings has an impact that can affect weather patterns around the world, my dad's life is impacting people in more ways than we may ever truly know!
The butterfly effect is the idea that even the smallest event, like the flapping of butterfly wings, can have a huge impact on the world.
At the time, I didn't think much of it, but as time has passed, it has come to mean more.
In the three weeks since my dad's passing, I have heard more and more stories of my dad's impact on the lives of others.
Last week while I was in Nashville visiting my mom, we popped into Publix one night. While we were there a sweet, young cashier approached us. She told us how my dad encouraged her to go back to college. She is now attending a community college in Nashville. She told my mom that if she ever needed anything, just to let her know. She could even "call in" her grocery order if needed and they would have it waiting for her at the front. Let's be honest...most people do not take time to build relationships with the cashiers at the grocery store. My dad had a transformative impact on her life by encouraging her to pursue a college degree.
One day my mom stopped to speak to the mail carrier. The mail carrier mentioned how we had been receiving quite a few cards, so my mom told her that my dad had passed away. The mail carrier told my mom how my dad had always been so kind to her. She mentioned how he always gave her gifts at the holidays. My dad really tried to show appreciation to members of the community that sometimes have thankless jobs. The mail carrier told my mom her name and route number and said to contact her anytime if the USPS can ever do anything to help.
My parents have had the same gentleman take care of their lawn for many years. The gentleman never raised his price after many years, so my dad gave him a "raise" one day and tried to teach him a little business savvy. Now almost every family on my parent's street employs this gentleman to take care of their lawns....all because my dad helped him build his business and gain more customers.
The oncology nurses at the hospital sent my dad the kindest card during his final days. In the card, they wrote a note to my parents. They described how when my parents first came onto the oncology unit, the nurses were there to show support and care to my parents. But in the end, they said that my parents made the nurses feel loved, safe, and cared for. My parents entered each new day with hope and truly loved each other well during each season of life....in sickness and in health. This love was evident to all, even during their stay on the oncology floor. Each day of my dad's hospice stay, the oncology nurses would stop by for a visit because my dad had such a positive impact on their lives.
Several neighbors wrote letters to my dad. One letter was written by a former marine. He is a very kind man that my mom and I called on the morning of February 20th when my dad lost his ability to feel his legs. We needed to get my dad to the hospital so we called two neighbors to help carry my dad down the stairs and help get him into the car. During this event, my dad's mind was very sharp and he actually told the two neighbors the best way to get him down the stairs. In his letter to my dad, this particular neighbor listed this characteristics of a marine and then went on to describe how my dad's life displayed each of the characteristics. He ended the letter by saying that my dad would have made a great marine.
Another neighbor's heartfelt letter thanked my dad for all he had done for the neighborhood and for the love he displayed to my mom.
Since my dad's passing, my mom has had several visits from one of the local police officers. My parent's home is in a very nice neighborhood in a great area of town. But there was a time not too long ago when there was some riff raff happening on their street. My parents were the first to notice the influx of cars coming in and out of a particular house. My dad led the effort to "clean up" the street. He did a ton of research and had it ready for the local police department. He would take licence plate numbers of repeat cars coming in and out of the house in question. My dad formed a bond with one of the police officers during all of this. Basically my dad saw the patrol car one day, and just stopped him and told him what was going on and gave the officer the folder of all of the notes my dad had taken. In the end, the swat team found drugs, counterfeit money, etc in the home. The home has been sold to new owners and there is now a sweet, young family living in that home. Had my dad not taken action, who knows how long the riff raff would have continued. The police officer has increased patrol on my parent's street since my mom now lives alone and has given her his number in case she ever needs anything from the police department.
I don't think we will ever know the number of people whose lives my dad has impacted. His legacy is already having a ripple effect in the community. He treated people the way he wanted to be treated and people felt safe and loved and cared for when he was around. He had a way to solve any type of problem. Even if he didn't have the expertise to solve a problem, he could always find someone to help.
Just like the flapping of tiny butterfly wings has an impact that can affect weather patterns around the world, my dad's life is impacting people in more ways than we may ever truly know!
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Happy Due Date
Happy due date baby Palmer!
We love you so much and can't believe that you have already been here 3 1/2 weeks! We have your one month check-up next week! You are our little miracle baby, born at 36 weeks, but right on time!
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Memories
Brent from Brandon Gresham on Vimeo.
Thank you Brandon and Stacey for putting our memories together in such a beautiful way!
Friday, May 3, 2013
Making Much of Christ
My dad was a remarkable man and no words can truly capture his spirit, but when I thought about speaking at my dad's memorial service, I wanted my words to honor God and honor my dad.
I hope my words did just that.
I hope my words did just that.
God is a hope-giving God
This is the day that the Lord has made! Let us rejoice and
be glad in it! For those of you
that do not know me, I am Brent’s youngest daughter, Bridgette.
For those of you who knew my dad personally, you know he
lived a life of love. This type of
love only comes from being filled with the love of the Lord to the point it
overflows onto others. If you have
ever interacted with my dad, then I have no doubt you were touched by his
loving, gentle spirit. A gentle
nature that only comes from the Holy Spirit living inside of you.
Do not let the Devil or the lies of the world fool you into
thinking that my dad lost his battle to cancer. Cancer did not defeat my dad. Christ, the ultimate healer, victoriously defeated cancer in
the moment he decided to take my dad home to Heaven! I like what John Piper says, “When our bodies die, we do not
experience once millisecond of break in fellowship with God through Christ.” Amen! Christ is sovereign, even in cancer. I have no doubt that my dad is playing
tennis in heaven! Yes, I am mourning the death of my dad here on earth. I have shed countless tears and will no
doubt shed countless more. I mourn
the fact that I can’t pick up the phone and call him. I mourn the fact that my children will not grow up with a
lifetime of memories with him. I
mourn that my mom has lost her soul mate.
I will miss my dad every day for the rest of my life. But I do not mourn like those with no
hope. God is a hope-giving God and
he can carry out hope-giving miracles within us. God is good in life and for those of who know the Lord as
our personal savior, God is even better in death. I mourn with hope-filled expectancy of the joyous day when I
see my dad again in Heaven. Praise
God that this world is not our home and our citizenship is in Heaven!
If our ultimate purpose in this life is to make much of
Christ and do all things for his glory, then my dad has certainly been a
valliant kingdom warrior.
My dad made much of Christ in his marriage. He selflessly served, honored and loved
my mother for over 32 years. Not
once did he raise his voice or say an unkind thing to her. His love for my mom most certainly was
a reflection of the Lord’s love for us…just as God intended marriage to
be. Until he was no longer able,
he joyfully served my mom by packing her lunch for work everyday, walking her
to her car with coffee every morning, grocery shopping and preparing meals. When my mom decided to go back to
school to pursue her degrees, my dad was always her biggest
cheerleader…supporting her each step along the way. He proofread every paper she ever wrote from her bachelors
degree all the way through her doctorate.
The love found in my
parent’s marriage is a legacy that will live on for generations. And let’s not forget my mom. It takes two to make a marriage work
and my mom has been equally selfless, loving, and compassionate to my father
for the past 32 years. Some said
it was a love that wouldn’t last because of their age difference, but Satan and
the world have no power tearing apart what God has joined together. My dad made much of Christ in his
marriage.
My dad made much of Christ in his immediate family. I could go on and on about ways he has
treated me like a princess over the years. He always joked that I might never get married because I
would never be able to find someone to treat me as good as he did. God truly had something special planned
when I met my husband Raleigh.
Those of you that have known me a long time, know that I don’t really
care for driving. In fact, my
parents had to make me get my driver’s license when I turned 16. So it will come as no surprise that I
really didn’t like driving back and forth from Birmingham to Nashville for
holiday breaks during college. My
selfless dad would drive to Samford, pick me up, we would turn around and drive
right back home. Over 6 hours in
the car just because I didn’t like to drive. He did this for almost every holiday or school break the
entire 4 years I was in college.
He was without a shadow of the doubt the absolute best dad any girl
could dream of having.
My dad made much of Christ in his extended family. He was always willing to give and share
everything he had. He was truly
the least selfish person I’ve ever known.
My dad knew that time was often our most precious commodity and he was
always selfless with his time. I
cannot even count the number of times he made the effort to attend family
events when most people would have stayed home. Many times he would drive from Nashville to Cleveland after
just receiving chemo or radiation, so that he wouldn’t miss a ballet recital, a
graduation, or a family holiday.
My dad made much of Christ in his extended family.
My dad made much of Christ in the community. My dad was always the first to teach me
the importance of leaving a good tip.
He was always kind and gracious to everyone he met, regardless of their
status within the community. He
would work hard so that he could share his blessings with others.
My dad made much of Christ in cancer. My dad was the ultimate fighter. Behind that gentle smile, was a
warrior. He outlived and out
performed many doctors ‘diagnoses over the years as he lived with lupus and
cancer. When other patients would
have thrown in the towel, he pulled himself up and did everything he could to
live well. His kindness never
waivered even when you knew he felt terrible. In fact during his recent time at the Baptist rehabilitation
center, he mentioned that the housekeeping staff came by at 4:30am every
morning to take the garbage out of his room. He thought this was odd that they had to do it so early, but
he said he always tried to have a conversation with them and be extra kind
because he knew they had a hard job.
The doctors and nurses were always happy to have my dad as a patient
because of his loving nature that was evident to all. My dad made much of Christ in his cancer journey! And praise
God that Jesus defeated cancer and victoriously took my dad home.
Because my dad made much of Christ in every aspect of his
life, I know that he would want Christ to be glorified in his passing to Heaven
as well. If you sit here and know
that my dad’s response to hardships was something miraculous, you are
right. He had the power of the
Holy Spirit living inside of him.
He personified Philippians 1:27 that says, “Whatever happens, conduct
yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ.” My dad spread the gospel through the
way he lived his life in love and no doubt is now rejoicing with his Heavenly
Father.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
A Season of Feasting and Mourning
It has almost been a month since my last post and much has happened. Katherine and Jay Wolf often use the term "house of feasting and mourning" and I think that term aptly describes this season of life. The events of the last several weeks are so intertwined that I am going to recap in a single post, rather than giving each life event its own post. God has had his hands in every detail of the last few weeks and this post will serve as a memorial stone for me to remember God's faithfulness, even in a season of mourning.
My warrior dad has been courageously fighting lupus and cancer for many years. Over the last several months the cancer began to spread more rapidly than before. Many of you have rallied around our family to provide love, prayers, cards, and support over the years, but especially over the last few weeks.
Beau and I spent the two weeks prior to February 20th hanging out with my parents in Nashville. Beau and Pipi had lots of fun hanging out together!
Wednesday, February 20: My dad had spinal surgery to remove a cancerous tumor from his spine. He moved his toes the day after the surgery and quickly moved to an inpatient rehabilitation center. When he was asked to set goals at rehab, he always told the nurses and physical therapists that his goal was to be in Atlanta on May 8th for Palmer's arrival.
After about a month of rehab, dad was ready to be discharged. He would be living in a wheelchair, but he had successfully mastered his transfers from the wheelchair to another surface.
Only a few days before he was scheduled to come home, he once again lost all movement below the waist and it was discovered that the cancerous tumor had returned.
Dad had a second spinal surgery but unfortunately he was not able to regain movement in his lower body. Lots of other issues continued to occur and my dad's health declined rapidly.
Friday, April 12: I had my 36 week appointment and everything looked great. There were no signs of labor or any other concerns. My dad was scheduled to be moved to hospice, so we made the trip to Nashville that evening. My last real conversation with my dad was that night. He told me that I would have start relying on Raleigh now and he told me that we should continue our yearly beach trips. He was completely alert at this point and we of course told each other we love each other several times. We were with my dad when he was transferred to the hospice unit of the hospital. He made the decision to receive hospice care at the hospital, rather than at home, so that my mom would not have those memories at home. He was putting the needs of others above his own, even at the very end.
Sunday, April 14: I woke up in the middle of the night with hip pain. I thought I had been sleeping in one position too long, but didn't think much of it. The pain finally got unbearable and I woke Raleigh up, but I still thought it was hip/back pain. Later in the morning it began to feel more like contractions. Raleigh timed them on his phone and they were consistently 3-5 minutes apart. I called my doctor in Atlanta and the nurse said that I was probably just under a lot of stress and instructed me to drink 3 bottles of water and take a warm bath. I did both, but the contractions kept coming stronger. By mid afternoon we decided it was time to go to the hospital and get checked out. We called my mom's GYN, who is also a OB, and he happened to be on call that day. Another miracle.
We dropped Beau off at my dad's hospital with my mom and cousin Erica and Raleigh and I headed about a mile down the road to another hospital. We checked into the "triage" area and they hooked me up to a fetal heartbeat monitor and a contraction monitor. After a few minutes of that, the nurse checked me and I was 4 cm dilated. She said I was in active labor and she started the process to get me checked into a labor and delivery room.
Once I was in the labor and delivery room, the nurse that checked me said that I was already 7cm dilated. Things were moving pretty quickly. I didn't even have time to change into my fancy hospital gown that I had purchased on etsy. Ha! Since I was already 7cm, I wanted to try and see if I could make it a little longer without the epidural. Eventually the contractions were so close together that there was no time to breathe between them, so I made Raleigh ask the nurse for the epidural. About 10 minutes later the anesthesiologist and my doctor walked in at the same time. My doctor said to wait and let him check me first. I was already 9cm so he said the epidural would really do no good as it was already time to start pushing. Well, to make a long story short, at 7:08pm central time, Palmer Cannon Gresham made his debut into the world at 36 weeks. He was a healthy 6 pounds and 7 ounces and 18.75 inches long. Praise God for a healthy baby! My dad was doing his part to fight until the very end, and Palmer did his part by coming a few weeks early. My dad thought he would be in Atlanta in May for Palmer's birth, but God wrote a different, yet beautiful, grace-filled, bittersweet, story.
Tuesday, April 16: I celebrated my 30th birthday by being discharged from the hospital with a beautiful baby boy. We went straight from my hospital to my dad's hospital and Palmer was able to meet my dad. It was the best birthday gift imaginable. The moments were precious and my dad just touched and rubbed little Palmer and kissed his forehead. It was a miraculous hope-filled time for sure. My mom made my dad put on a nice shirt so he would look nice for the pictures.
Wednesday, April 17 & Thursday, April 18: We spent several hours each day at the hospital visiting with my dad. He would come in and out of being alert, but mostly my dad just slept.
Friday, April 19th: This was the last day I visited with my dad. He was pretty much completely resting at this point and only roused up a time or two during the day. One time he "woke up" and the last thing he told me was to go home and get sleep. Ha! Ha! Like I said before, even at the very end he was thinking of others first.
Saturday, April 20th: I did not visit with my dad this day as I could tell my body needed a bit of rest after labor. I stayed home with Beau and Palmer and Raleigh and let my body heal a little.
Sunday, April 21st: My dad was welcomed into the arms of Jesus. He and my mom were alone in the room when he went to be with the Lord and they were listening to their song. What a beautiful gift for my mom to spend the last moments of dad's life alone with him.
God truly wove the story together in a miraculous way. Friends and family surrounded us during this time of birth and death, joy and sadness, feasting and mourning, and allowed us to walk the road with grace that can only come from Him.
My warrior dad has been courageously fighting lupus and cancer for many years. Over the last several months the cancer began to spread more rapidly than before. Many of you have rallied around our family to provide love, prayers, cards, and support over the years, but especially over the last few weeks.
Beau and I spent the two weeks prior to February 20th hanging out with my parents in Nashville. Beau and Pipi had lots of fun hanging out together!
Snuggle time on the couch!
Beau loves looking at pictures on Pipi's phone!
Friends Forever!
Mmm...homemade banana pudding!
Delicious!
Pipi was getting some attention from his grandsons Alex and Beau after his first surgery.
Popsicle time at rehab! All of the nurses loved to give Beau treats!
Beau checking out the wheelchair ramp!
Nana learned how to pop wheelies.
Dad had a second spinal surgery but unfortunately he was not able to regain movement in his lower body. Lots of other issues continued to occur and my dad's health declined rapidly.
Friday, April 12: I had my 36 week appointment and everything looked great. There were no signs of labor or any other concerns. My dad was scheduled to be moved to hospice, so we made the trip to Nashville that evening. My last real conversation with my dad was that night. He told me that I would have start relying on Raleigh now and he told me that we should continue our yearly beach trips. He was completely alert at this point and we of course told each other we love each other several times. We were with my dad when he was transferred to the hospice unit of the hospital. He made the decision to receive hospice care at the hospital, rather than at home, so that my mom would not have those memories at home. He was putting the needs of others above his own, even at the very end.
Sunday, April 14: I woke up in the middle of the night with hip pain. I thought I had been sleeping in one position too long, but didn't think much of it. The pain finally got unbearable and I woke Raleigh up, but I still thought it was hip/back pain. Later in the morning it began to feel more like contractions. Raleigh timed them on his phone and they were consistently 3-5 minutes apart. I called my doctor in Atlanta and the nurse said that I was probably just under a lot of stress and instructed me to drink 3 bottles of water and take a warm bath. I did both, but the contractions kept coming stronger. By mid afternoon we decided it was time to go to the hospital and get checked out. We called my mom's GYN, who is also a OB, and he happened to be on call that day. Another miracle.
We dropped Beau off at my dad's hospital with my mom and cousin Erica and Raleigh and I headed about a mile down the road to another hospital. We checked into the "triage" area and they hooked me up to a fetal heartbeat monitor and a contraction monitor. After a few minutes of that, the nurse checked me and I was 4 cm dilated. She said I was in active labor and she started the process to get me checked into a labor and delivery room.
Once I was in the labor and delivery room, the nurse that checked me said that I was already 7cm dilated. Things were moving pretty quickly. I didn't even have time to change into my fancy hospital gown that I had purchased on etsy. Ha! Since I was already 7cm, I wanted to try and see if I could make it a little longer without the epidural. Eventually the contractions were so close together that there was no time to breathe between them, so I made Raleigh ask the nurse for the epidural. About 10 minutes later the anesthesiologist and my doctor walked in at the same time. My doctor said to wait and let him check me first. I was already 9cm so he said the epidural would really do no good as it was already time to start pushing. Well, to make a long story short, at 7:08pm central time, Palmer Cannon Gresham made his debut into the world at 36 weeks. He was a healthy 6 pounds and 7 ounces and 18.75 inches long. Praise God for a healthy baby! My dad was doing his part to fight until the very end, and Palmer did his part by coming a few weeks early. My dad thought he would be in Atlanta in May for Palmer's birth, but God wrote a different, yet beautiful, grace-filled, bittersweet, story.
Tuesday, April 16: I celebrated my 30th birthday by being discharged from the hospital with a beautiful baby boy. We went straight from my hospital to my dad's hospital and Palmer was able to meet my dad. It was the best birthday gift imaginable. The moments were precious and my dad just touched and rubbed little Palmer and kissed his forehead. It was a miraculous hope-filled time for sure. My mom made my dad put on a nice shirt so he would look nice for the pictures.
Friday, April 19th: This was the last day I visited with my dad. He was pretty much completely resting at this point and only roused up a time or two during the day. One time he "woke up" and the last thing he told me was to go home and get sleep. Ha! Ha! Like I said before, even at the very end he was thinking of others first.
Saturday, April 20th: I did not visit with my dad this day as I could tell my body needed a bit of rest after labor. I stayed home with Beau and Palmer and Raleigh and let my body heal a little.
Sunday, April 21st: My dad was welcomed into the arms of Jesus. He and my mom were alone in the room when he went to be with the Lord and they were listening to their song. What a beautiful gift for my mom to spend the last moments of dad's life alone with him.
God truly wove the story together in a miraculous way. Friends and family surrounded us during this time of birth and death, joy and sadness, feasting and mourning, and allowed us to walk the road with grace that can only come from Him.
