World Down Syndrome Day

Did you know that today is yesterday was World Down Syndrome Day?

I am choosing to share a very personal story with you because God is using this story to grow my faith.

This is a story about God answering my prayers with a no. However, because God said no to me, He was able to answer another family’s prayers with a yes.

Let’s back up.

When Raleigh and I started the adoption journey in 2008, I joined two adoption forums. One was with our agency and one was hosted by a different adoption agency, and was much more active.

Through this forum, I quickly found a waiting child photolisting for that agency. From the moment I opened the site, I was immediately drawn to the cutest little boy with a precious smile. It’s hard to explain, but there was just something special about him that caught my eye and captured my heart. I immediately showed Raleigh. At the time, I only knew him by his online id number, but God knew his name and I prayed that a family would come quickly for him!

At that time, Raleigh and I knew we were not meant to be his family because his agency does not place children from Korea in our state. So we knew that we were only meant to be prayer warriors for him. I looked at that sweet face everyday for over a year and prayed for his family. I jumped for joy each time I found new pictures or videos online of this sweet boy.

Fast forward over a year. We were matched with our precious son Beau and we were overjoyed. God confirmed without a shadow of doubt to me and Raleigh that Beau was our son. We began doing everything necessary to bring Beau home.

Meanwhile, the state of residency requirement became flexible for this sweet little photolisted boy. Raleigh and I agreed that it would be ok to email the waiting child coordinator for his agency just to see if little “J” could be placed in our state. Sure enough, he could. The waiting child coordinator explained that we could view the boy’s file once Beau was home and his adoption was finalized.

We continued to pray all through this time. Beau came home in July 2011 and we finalized in December 2011.

I have to say that the day we finalized Beau’s adoption, I was ready to review the little boy’s file. However, Raleigh was not ready. So we kept praying about it. I knew that in February 2012, the little boy was turning 5, so I wanted to review the file sooner rather than later.

During this time, I felt like God was opening doors to this potential adoption. The little boy has Down syndrome, and I found out that the elementary school only a few miles from our home is the one elementary school in our district that is specially designed to serve children with Down syndrome. I also found another family that had adopted a boy with Down syndrome from the same group home in Korea. I was able to communicate with that family and find out about their unique joys and challenges of adopting and parenting an older child with Down syndrome.

All during this time, I felt like God was confirming my feelings about reviewing the little boy’s file. The only problem was that Raleigh was also praying about it daily and he was not feeling the same confirmation from the Lord.

As any good Christian wife (LOL), I obviously felt like I was hearing God correctly so Raleigh must not be listening. Ha! Ha! Ha! So I began praying, Lord please change Raleigh’s heart. I wanted so badly for the little boy to be our son and I just prayed for Raleigh to start feeling the same way.

In January 2012, I attended the Created for Care retreat. I just knew that God was going to give me some little bit of information at the conference that would help change Raleigh’s mind about reviewing the little boy’s file.

At the conference, I heard a testimony that the Lord used to speak to my heart and transform my prayers. The lady spoke about a situation in her marriage and she was continually praying, Lord change my husband’s heart. Finally, she heard the Lord say to her, maybe it is your heart I’m trying to change, not your husband's.

That was a wake up call for me. Why was I constantly praying, Lord change Raleigh’s heart? Obviously I should have been praying for the Lord’s will to be done, even if that meant that He was going to change my heart instead of Raleigh’s.

It was a hard prayer to pray because I desperately wanted the little boy to have a family, and since no one else was moving forward to adopt him I just couldn’t understand why it wasn’t us.

However, I know that the Lord will never use a situation to divide a husband and wife in marriage, especially when they are both in prayer about the situation and seeking God’s guidance. I knew that if God was leading us to review the file, he would lead both of us…not just me. When we accepted Beau’s file, Raleigh and I were both absolutely sure that he was our son. I knew that we would never move forward with any type of big decision like this if Raleigh and I were not completely on the same page. I trust Raleigh and knew the God would lead us both if we were to adopt this precious boy.

Then one day last month I opened the waiting child photolisting and saw something new. Under the little boy’s picture were the words, “No longer accepting new applications.” This means that a family is going to “committee” for this precious boy. Praise Jesus that he will be an orphan no more!!

Even though in my head I was thrilled that this boy that I had loved through pictures for over a year was going to have a family, my heart was crushed. I wanted to be his family but God was saying no. But God did provide a family that was meant just for him! A family that he chose from the beginning of time to adopt sweet "J."

Over the last few weeks the Lord has been teaching me that by saying no to me, He was able to say yes to another family that was also praying for this precious boy. How sweet it is that he is going to have a family! He will know what it is like to be tucked in bed at night by a mom and dad.

I know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

I know the Lord put this precious boy on my heart for a reason. God is using this to teach me about His character and His faithfulness, even if the answer to my prayers is not what I had originally wanted it to be.

I think about other times in life when God answered no, only because he had something better planned.

Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare. (Psalm 40:5)

I am hoping that the precious boy’s new family will come forward on the adoption forum so I can “meet” his new family. How blessed they are to have an adorable 5 year old bundle of joy joining their family.

In honor of World Down Syndrome Day, take a minute today to remember that each life is precious! Did you know that many experts agree that somewhere between 60 and 90 percent of babies with down syndrome are aborted? And now there is new test that will determine whether or not a baby has down syndrome in the first trimester. While there is nothing wrong with that (if you want to be prepared as a parent and deliver at a hospital that is equipped to handle your child's birth, etc) many fear that the number of abortions will increase because of this test. Patti over at A Perfect Lily wrote a great series of posts about the test here.