Beau's First Trip to Nashville

Last weekend Beau was able to take his first trip to Nashville to visit my parents! We had a wonderful time and Beau had lots of fun!

Saturday morning we attended a fun baby shower for my friend Jessica. Her son, Tripp, is due in October. Jessica and I met in 2nd grade and have been friends ever since. Although we don't talk as often as we used to, it is one of those friendships where we can pick up the phone and call each other at any point, and it is like no time has passed!

Beau was the only baby at the shower and he really charmed the ladies! Unfortunately I don't have a picture with Jessica to post. Beau was causing a little wardrobe malfunction with the top of my dress in all of the pictures I took with Jessica. Ha! Ha!

Saturday afternoon we went to Sweet CeCe's in Downtown Franklin for some yogurt!
Beau loved the chocolate yogurt!
If you ever get a chance to go to Nashville, you should definitely make time to visit Downtown Franklin. There are tons of fun shops and neat places to eat!

Beau was actually happy in this picture, but the sun is in his eyes. I will have to get him a little hat! :)

Saturday night we went to the pool in my parent's neighborhood. This was Beau's first time in a pool since he has been home. I'm not sure if he ever went to a pool while he lived in Korea.

He was a little nervous at first, but pretty soon he started splashing his hands in the water!

He is enjoying it a little more!

Splash! This is fun!

He left with a smile, so I would say that his first pool adventure was a success!

Our Trip To The Urologist

Beau waited patiently for his turn with the doctor! Yes, he still loves those potato sticks!

Last week we took Beau to visit the urologist. I cannot say enough good things about our experience with Dr. Edwin Smith at Georgia Urology. We arrived a few minutes early to complete any necessary paperwork. Beau was happy to wait in the waiting room and watch other children play with the toys. After a few minutes, he actually wanted down to play. He sat in my lap and looked around and seemed to be comfortable in the waiting area.

We were called back to a room quickly and the nurse was very kind. I explained that Beau was very scared at our previous appointments with other doctors. She understood and allowed Beau to stay in his stroller while she checked his pulse. Beau did cry while she was touching him, but he quickly calmed down once she left the room. This is a HUGE improvement! While we were waiting on the doctor, Raleigh and I sang and played games with Beau and he did not cry. I kept him in his stroller facing the wall instead of facing the door. When the doctor came in, Beau could get used to hearing the doctor’s voice without actually seeing him walk in the room. This seemed to help and Beau didn’t cry until Dr. Smith examined Beau. Once the examination was over I was able to quickly calm Beau down again. What an answer to prayers!!

Dr. Smith had reviewed all of the files that we sent him prior to our appointment and was very knowledgeable about Beau’s condition. He also took time to review the images with us that were done in Korea. He was very kind and allowed us to ask as many questions as we wanted.

Dr. Smith feels that Beau’s UPJ obstruction needs to be repaired to prevent any further damage to his kidneys. Ureteropelvic junction (UPJ) obstruction is a blockage in the area that connects the renal pelvis (part of the kidney) to one of the tubes (ureters) that move urine to the bladder.

This is the plan for Beau’s treatment:

In the next week or two (we are waiting to hear back from the nurse about the exact date) Beau will have a MAG3 scan completed. This scan will allow the doctor to get a baseline for Beau’s kidneys and learn more about how they are functioning. We will meet with the doctor the same day that the scan is completed to discuss the results, so they said to expect this to be an all day event. This will be done at Scottish Rite in Atlanta.

After the MAG3 scan, the doctor will schedule surgery to correct Beau’s UPJ obstruction. The surgery will take place in 2 parts. During the first surgery, Dr. Smith will make an incision in the flank (an incision usually made near and parallel to the 12th rib) and will then insert a stent into the area that needs repairing. The stent will stay in a few weeks. I can’t remember if the doctor said it will stay in three weeks or six weeks. Either way, a few weeks later the doctor will perform a second surgery to remove the stent.

After both surgeries, Beau will have another MAG3 scan to again monitor his kidney function and to ensure that the surgical correction worked properly.

Dr. Smith was recommended to us by multiple people as a great pediatric urologist. Raleigh and I both feel confident in his recommendation. We knew that Beau’s UPJ obstruction would likely require surgery, so we were not surprised. I will keep you posted once we know the dates for Beau’s scans and surgery.

Progress: His Dad (aka Raleigh)

As Raleigh and I prepared to bring sweet Beau home, we knew that he might initially attach to one parent. That is exactly what happened with Beau. He immediately "attached" to me and was not so keen on Raleigh. As in, he would scream and arch his back if Raleigh got too close. I am not writing this to make Raleigh feel bad, he knows he is a wonderful dad, but I want others that are in the process of adopting to be prepared for all sorts of scenarios. Also, it will be fun to look back in a few years and think how crazy it was when Beau wasn't so sure about his dad.

The first 2 weeks home, Beau would not let Raleigh hold him, play with him, feed him, change his diaper, etc. If it involved engaging with each another, Beau would not do it. This made a few things quite difficult. Two of the hardest things for me those first two weeks home were taking a shower and using the restroom. I tried to wake up before Beau to take my shower. Sometimes this worked, but other days there was just no way to predict how early he would wake up and I just couldn't bring myself to get out of bed and shower at 4:30am. Ha! Ha! So, in order for me to shower or use the restroom, Raleigh would have to hold Beau or attempt to play with him. This did not go over well at all. We tried all types of things! I even showered a few times in a swim suit so that Beau could stand right at the shower door and see me. (I know he's just a baby, but it just felt too weird not to wear a swim suit since Beau is a boy.) Beau isn't at the point just yet where he will play independently for a few minutes without noticing that I am gone.

All of that to say, over the last few days, Beau has really started opening up to Raleigh. Praise God for progress!! Beau loves it when Raleigh is super duper silly! It makes Beau giggle!! Also, Beau will let Raleigh hold him. Beau also loves all types of technology, so he loves when Raleigh lets him type on the computer. We have to limit this since Beau drools so much, but occasionally we will let him play on the computer. He likes to hear the keys click as you type. He must have seen his foster family working on laptops and phones, because we never "introduced" these things to Beau, but one day we just happened to get out a computer and check email or something and his face lit up! Beau can be practically asleep, but if he sees you get out a phone or computer he will sit straight up, smile, and crawl over to whatever technology is visible.

Last night, Beau had fun listening to Raleigh play the guitar! It is so neat to watch Beau let down his guard and open up to Raleigh.

Showering and using the restroom are still works in progress, but we will get there!!

The first two weeks home, Beau would have never gotten this close to Raleigh! Now, he is reaching towards him!

Beau likes to watch Raleigh play guitar!

Beau is laughing and dancing in this picture!

Here he is doing some work with dad!

Progress: The Highchair

The first few times we tried the highchair it was a disaster didn't go so well. I did enjoy having Beau sit on my lap during meals, but he is an active 13 month old, so it was challenging. I didn't feel like he was eating enough that way and I wasn't able to eat much either. We kept trying the highchair each day. If he screamed, we took him out and tried again the next day. Finally, he sat down and actually liked it!!! We are now eating lunch and dinner at the table with Beau in his highchair!

As far as table food goes he has eaten 2 jars of baby food (pears and bananas). He will occasionally eat strawberry yogurt, but it takes several meal times to eat an entire container of yogurt. He will also sometimes eat applesauce. Also, he likes graham crackers. We continue to give him small bites of lots of fruits and vegetables. Sometimes he will chew them, but then spit them out. We will continue trying lots of new foods as he discovers new flavors!

Our best table food option is rice with sesame oil and tiny bits of bulgogi (Korean bbq). He will eat this for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. We did find that he will store the meat in his mouth if you feed it to him apart from the rice. However, if you put rice on the spoon and a tiny bite of meat, he will chew and swallow it all. He is still taking a lot of bottles during the day and about 3 each night, but we have transitioned him to mostly whole milk with only 1/2 scoop of formula mixed in. Pretty soon, we will have gradually removed all of the formula so that he is just drinking the whole milk. Since he is 13 months old, our pediatrician suggested we transition him to whole milk.

Here are a few picks of Beau in the highchair.

Let's eat!

This boy LOVES seaweed!

All smiles! (He can't actually feed himself with the spoon he is holding, but we give it to him to hold sometimes during meals so that he can start experimenting. It sure it messy, but he will never learn if we don't let him practice. If nothing else, he gets used to how it feels in his hand.)

All finished!

Unsure of how to help the people in Africa suffering from drought and famine

Last weekend Raleigh and I decided to go to the mall to buy Beau a pair of shoes. One of our sweet friends gave us a pair of soft shoes (sort of like Robeez) when we were matched with Beau, but they are a bit too big for him to wear right now. So...we ventured around the mall. I had in mind a pair of Sperry's or New Balance. As we walked from store to store, I kept thinking about the price tag. The shoes we were drawn to were $30-$40. Beau doesn't even walk yet, so the shoes would be purely for "looks."

As I was thinking about what to do, my mind kept going to the severe drought and potential famine in the Horn of Africa. People in East Africa are facing the worst drought in 60 years. As I contemplated spending $30 on shoes for Beau, I couldn't help but wonder how much clean water could be provided for $30.

I was thinking how tragic it is that when I turn on the nightly news, the top story is the US economy. But no one is dying because the stocks took a dip. No one is dying because of the downgraded US credit rating. Are these things important? I'm sure they are and I know that are many, many people right here in the US suffering due to job loss in the bad economy. But our neighbors in Africa are dying. I am talking to myself as much as anyone!! I know I waste money! I do not need Starbucks or new clothes. I do not need to eat out as much as I do. I do not need cable tv. I love relaxing on the couch and watching a So You Think You Can Dance and HGTV. We love to watch football in the Fall. But really, we do not need cable. I'm just being honest...that is about $100 each month that we could be spending more wisely! Am I going to cancel the cable tomorrow? Probably not, but I am just being honest that I have lots of areas where I could be a better steward of money.

Will Beau eventually need shoes? Of course! He will be walking soon and he will need shoes to protect his feet. Does he need $40 shoes? Absolutely not! But, the whole shoe buying venture really got me thinking about how I am spending money. Raleigh and I have really cut back on our spending because I am taking a year off of teaching to stay home with Beau, but I know that there are areas where we could save more and in turn give more.

This still leaves me in a bit of a predicament. How do I help? Obviously I can pray! Prayer moves mountains. I believe in miracles. I know that the God of the Bible is still the God of today and NOTHING is too hard for him. There is power in prayer. There is power in going to the Lord and boldly asking for him to perform miracles for his glory!! So, I will pray!

But, my mom always says, "Sometimes you have to put legs to your prayers." Sometimes we are required to act! Yes, God will work through us, but we are to be the hands and feet of Jesus here on Earth. Since I didn't buy any shoes for Beau, I technically saved $30. Where should I give that money so that it directly impacts those suffering from the drought in Africa? I do not have the answer. I think that Samaritan's Purse is generally a very reputable agency that will use their funds wisely. Also, I'm looking into giving through World Vision or Compassion International. In the end, I'm not sure exactly why I wrote this post, but I can't help but think that if 10 million people in the United States were at risk of dying due to a drought, it would be the headline story on every news show and every news website. It would be the cover story on every magazine and it would be on the radio daily. It is easy to ignore things that you are not face to face with everyday. But once our eyes are open to the needs around us, we cannot turn away.

Please pray for our neighbors in Africa. I know there is suffering all over the world and there always will be until Jesus returns, but that is not an excuse for us to do nothing.

The Holt Blue Bag

Families that adopt through Holt Korea typically receive a blue bag filled with various items! Below you will see what we found inside Beau's blue bag! We will cherish all of these items forever, as they are a special part of Beau's story.

If you look carefully, you will see that Beau's escort is carrying the blue bag in her left hand. It is under the Korean Air Sky Shop bag.

Above is a picture of the blue bag.

This is Beau's hanbok from his foster mom. A hanbok is a traditional Korean outfit. We even received pictures of Beau wearing his hanbok on his first birthday!

Above you will see a close-up of his hanbok top and hat.

White socks and shoes to go with his hanbok

This is a Bible that his foster mom sent for him. He is really good at turning the pages. We can tell that he "read' it a lot because many of the pages are worn.

Above you will see a guide from Holt for adoptive parents and children. It has some interesting cultural information about Korea.

The outfit above was not actually in the blue bag, but it is the outfit that Beau was wearing when we met him. I can't bring myself to wash it. I cry every time I look at the outfit. I wonder what his foster mom was thinking when she chose this outfit for his traveling day. I'm sure she wanted him to wear something comfortable. The shirt says "Hug Me Daddy." (Well it actually says "Hug Me Dady" but I think Dady is supposed to be Daddy.) The blue shorts have Mickey Mouse on the front. The cute little socks have a picture of an animal playing soccer. This outfit is so special.

Above is outfit that was in the blue bag. It will be a long time before Beau will be able to fit into it, but it is really soft. It is a matching pant and shirt/jacket set. There is a little teddy bear pinned onto the shirt.

We also received a long sleeved shirt and a bib.

We received a really cute set of Korean pajamas. They are still in the bag. I am having trouble deciding whether I should keep them in perfect condition in the bag, or if I should let Beau wear the pjs. I think I may open them and let him wear them. I think his foster mom would like him to enjoy them.

One of the most special things we received was a stack of pictures. Beau was with the same foster family since he was 3 months old. I am overjoyed to see the pictures of Beau being so well cared for in Korea. There were a lot of pictures of Beau in a stroller and his pre-flight notes say that he likes to go out. We have found this to be true. Beau is very content to take a stroller ride! We also received pictures of Beau on his first birthday wearing his hanbok. Although we were sad that he wasn't home for his birthday, I am thankful that he celebrated in Korea. He looks so handsome in his hanbok! Look at Beau being mischievous in the picture above! He is so cute! It looks like he is playing in some type of oatmeal, rice, lotion, or shaving cream. Whatever it is, it sure looks like he is having fun!! There were also several pictures of Beau at church. We know that his foster mom read him Psalms each night and we are blessed to know that she loves the Lord.

There were three bottles in the bag, a large can of Korean formula, and a bag of potato sticks. We have been using his Korean bottles instead of the ones we had purchased. Beau really likes them and we figured it was something easy that we could continue using rather than forcing him to change. He really likes the Korean formula, but we are almost out of it. We looked for it at HMart but they told us they don't sell it. His pediatrician wants us to transition him to whole milk as we can, so we are slowly using less and less of the formula in his bottles. We have made the change gradually and it seems to be working. When Beau came home, his bottles had 5 scoops of the Korean powdered formula mixed with water. (There were English directions printed on the top of the formula can so we knew how much to use.) Now we are only putting one scoop of the Korean formula. We are also adding whole milk with the water. If you have read some of the previous posts, you know that Beau LOVES those potato sticks. He loves eating them, but he also loves holding one in his hand. Luckily we did find these at HMart, so we bought several bags.

This is a pastry that was in Beau's blue bag.

Beau's foster mom returned the clothes we sent him. They have all of the tags still on them, including the tags that I made with his name. We sent these clothes in March and they are size 12-18 months. There is no way that they would have fit him so I'm not surprised that she returned them to us. Beau is wearing 12 month clothes now and some 12 month stuff is a little too big. Hopefully in the fall or winter he will fit into the jeans and hoodie. :) She also returned the soft little dog that we sent and 2 books. The books have definitely been used. I am so thankful that Beau has enjoyed them. He still uses them daily. He likes to turn the pages and I read the story.

(Just in case you are interested she did not return the photo book we sent that had pictures of me and Raleigh, the Hallmark recordable storybook, or the kids' Bible that we sent.)

There were also a few diapers and wipes in the blue bag, but I forgot to take a picture of those.

Raleigh and I know that our responsibility is great. The Lord has entrusted Beau into our care and we pray everyday that the Lord will be glorified in all that we do.

If you remember us in our prayers, please pray that Beau would begin to trust Raleigh. He is still very fearful/unsure of Raleigh. Raleigh is the best dad (well tied with my own dad) and loves little Beau sooooo much! We are looking forward to the day when Beau will allow Raleigh to hold him without tears. We know that it will take time. In the meantime, Raleigh is great at making Beau smile from afar. He is also a genius bottle maker! :) Thanks Raleigh for being a great dad!

A Few Pictures from Yesterday and Today

Recap of Doctors Visits

Beau had 2 appointments last week. We visited the pediatrician on Tuesday and the nephrologist on Thursday. Here is a little recap of those visits. This is mostly so that I will remember all of these details, so don't feel like you have to read this. :) It is kind of long and probably pretty boring.

Pediatrician

We arrived a few minutes early in order to fill out any necessary paperwork. Beau did not like waiting in the waiting room, so I took him outside and carried him up and down a sidewalk. I knew Raleigh would come and get us when it was our turn. Beau really likes to be carried since he is accustomed to riding in a carrier worn by his foster mom.

Once we were taken back to an exam room, the screaming began. Ha Ha! We received pretty extensive medical records from Korea, and it is obvious that Beau went to the doctor a lot. I think he knew where we were just by the atmosphere. First we were asked to undress Beau so that they could weigh him. This took several minutes. As I was picking Beau up off of the scale, he peed all over me. Ha! Ha! Then the nurse said that she was going to put a urine bag on him in hopes of collecting a sample. In my mind I was thinking, wouldn't it have been smarter to put the urine bag on him immediately after removing his diaper?!?! Oh well! It's a memory and he of course didn't pee into the bag since he had already peed on me! :)

We talked to the doctor and she did a general check-up. Everything seemed to be fine, but we are going back in a month for a follow-up visit since he had only been home a few days at the time of our visit.

The doctor was not too concerned that he is still on a mostly formula diet. She of course wants us to introduce more table foods, but she said it was fine to take it slowly since he has experienced so much change in a short amount of time.

Beau did receive 3 shots so that he would be all caught up on vaccinations. He received Prevnar, Hib, and Hepatitis B.

Beau screamed throughout the appointment, but once we left the building and were outside, he totally calmed down and even enjoyed his car ride home.

Here were his stats from his appointment:

Beau at 13 months old-

Height: 29.2 inches /18th percentile

Weight: 19.8 pounds/ 6th percentile

Head Circumference: 18.1 inches/ 29th percentile

Nephrologist

Thursday afternoon we headed to Emory for our visit to the nephrologist. When I called to book our appointment, I was informed that the doctor we had been working with (via email) was on vacation until the end of August. I was given the option to schedule an appointment with a fellow or wait until the doctor returned to schedule the visit. Not knowing the severity of Beau's kidney issues, we decided to take an early appointment with the fellow. My thoughts were that the initial visit would be mostly talking and then when we come back for our next visit, the doctor would be back from vacation. The doctor has been sooooo kind to review some of Beau's files for us and I was really looking forward to meeting him and working with him.

In retrospect, I would have waited for a later appointment with the doctor. I'm sure that the fellow is a very bright man with a lot of expertise in the field of nephrology. However, there was somewhat of a language barrier which made communication very difficult. He could barely understand us and we could barely understand him.

Also, I had mailed copies of all of Beau's medical records and had them VERY organized. I had divided them into sections and labeled each section so that it would be very easy for the doctors to review. It was obvious that the fellow had not even opened the file before he entered our room. Now, I totally understand that doctors see patients back to back and see many patients each day, but it seems like they would want to take a look at a new patient's file before consulting with the parents. He kept asking us questions about Beau's biological parents and I very patiently explained multiple times that the only information we have is what I included in the file. I even took the liberty to ask him to open the file and then I showed him the paperwork. He definitely did not understand the unique situation of international adoption. While we have lots and lots of medical history on Beau, there are still some missing pieces and he did not seem to understand that. He also asked multiple times why Beau was crying. You would think that a fellow in the field of pediatric medicine would understand that some children do not like being at the doctor and some children are going to cry.

They had to take some blood, and since Beau was screaming they wrapped him up like a burrito. I know that is common practice, but it was still sad to watch.

In the end, we didn't leave with any additional information about Beau's kidneys. They told us to make an appointment with a urologist. The urologist will be able to give us an idea of whether or not Beau will need surgery to repair the obstruction in his ureter.

I have to give credit where credit is due and say that the lead nurse we worked with was SO friendly and helpful. The doctor (who was on vacation) had told her about us back in March when we consulted with him about Beau's medical files. She remembered us and was just lovely. I think our visit would have been totally different if we had waited and made our appointment with the doctor. Oh well! Raleigh and I may schedule another appointment with the doctor once he is back, since we were not really able to verbally communicate with the fellow. All we would be out is another copay and an afternoon of our time, so it might be worth it just so we will have a little more understanding of Beau's condition.

(Please do not be offended if you are a medical student or fellow. I am sure that many, many fellows have a wonderful bedside manner and are excellent physicians. This was just not our experience in this particular case.)

First Trip to Publix

One Week Home

In honor of Beau being home one week, I thought it would be fun to list 7 things that I have learned over the last 7 days! Here it goes!!

1. Beau is eating mostly formula, but has three favorite table foods....seaweed, Korean rice cakes, and potato sticks! I mean he really L.O.V.E.S seaweed. He would probably eat a whole package in one day if I let him! It is so cute to watch him stuff the seaweed in his mouth!

This is Beau relaxing with his rice cake!

2. He likes to sleep on his back with his arms and legs spread out. He is also in the habit of falling asleep on the couch. The last several nights he has fallen asleep there. Once he is asleep, Raleigh carries him to his crib (well, only the last 2 nights). I'm not very good at getting him back to sleep in his crib when he wakes up in the middle of the night, so he has ended up in our bed the last couple of days. I still think we have made progress since he is sleeping part of the night in his crib.

This is Beau sleeping on the couch. Is there anything more precious than a sleeping baby? Notice how he is holding a potato stick?? It is a comfort item for him. He loves to have a potato stick in his hand at all times and he will occasionally put it in his mouth and lick the salt off! Ha Ha! Yes, I know he is wearing long pajamas in the middle of the summer, but he HATES having covers on him and I don't want him to be too cold at night.

3. He scratches his head and face when he is mad or upset. He gets mad and upset a lot. Just keeping it real! :) :) He has made a lot of progress, but he is still grieving. There are lots of tears mixed in with some giggles and smiles. We have started putting socks on his hands when he gets really mad because he was scratching his face until it bled. It was so sad. While I think the grieving has made it worse, I think he may have also done this in Korea. His foster mom sent us pictures with socks on his hands. Also, while we were waiting for Beau to come home, he often had scratches on his nose in the updated pictures we received. Oh...and in case you are wondering, I have clipped his fingernails and they are as short as possible.

4. Beau loves his car seat and stroller!! Yippee! He likes to play clapping games in the car and play peekaboo. He thinks he is so sneaky when he is playing peekaboo! He also likes to play a game where you pretend like you're sleeping and then start snoring loudly. He loves to watch Raleigh do this.

5. His favorite toy right now is the Leapfrog Learn and Groove Musical Table. A parent of one of my students gave us this table and Beau loves it. It does slide easily on carpet and hardwood floors, so I have to make sure to hold it steady as he pulls up and plays. Once his standing balance is a little better, I don't think it will be a problem. He loves to manipulate all of the pieces on the table and listen to the music.

6. He likes to dance to children's music....and by dance I mean bounce a little and smile and giggle! I love how his whole face lights up when he smiles!

Notice how Beau's left hand is tightly balled up in the picture above? What do you think he is holding? A potato stick, of course! :) He has bitten off and eaten the top part so the rest is inside his hand.

7. Over the last 7 days, I have learned so much about how the Father loves us! Just think, as much as I love Beau (and as much as any parent loves their child) God loves us more!!! I know that I will fall short when it comes to parenting. I will not be perfect. But the good news is that God will fill in the gaps. The love of the Father for his children is a love that never fails. Each day, I give Beau to the Lord. I pray that little Beau will come to know and love the Lord at an early age.

Most importantly, over the last 7 days my home has been filled with the sweet sounds of a baby. And not just any baby. My son. I love you Beau! You have filled my heart with so much joy! I love your cries, your toots, your smiles, and the way you are learning to trust us.

Beau's Homecoming Video

Thank you so much Brandon and Stacey for taking such beautiful pictures of our special day! We will treasure this video forever!! Thank you!

Beau Comes Home from Brandon Gresham on Vimeo.

He Laughed

Beau laughed!!