Happy Due Date

Happy due date baby Palmer! 

We love you so much and can't believe that you have already been here 3 1/2 weeks!  We have your one month check-up next week!  You are our little miracle baby, born at 36 weeks, but right on time!

Memories

Brent from Brandon Gresham on Vimeo.

Thank you Brandon and Stacey for putting our memories together in such a beautiful way!

Making Much of Christ

My dad was a remarkable man and no words can truly capture his spirit, but when I thought about speaking at my dad's memorial service, I wanted my words to honor God and honor my dad.

I hope my words did just that.

God is a hope-giving God

This is the day that the Lord has made! Let us rejoice and be glad in it!  For those of you that do not know me, I am Brent’s youngest daughter, Bridgette.

For those of you who knew my dad personally, you know he lived a life of love.  This type of love only comes from being filled with the love of the Lord to the point it overflows onto others.  If you have ever interacted with my dad, then I have no doubt you were touched by his loving, gentle spirit.  A gentle nature that only comes from the Holy Spirit living inside of you.

Do not let the Devil or the lies of the world fool you into thinking that my dad lost his battle to cancer.  Cancer did not defeat my dad.  Christ, the ultimate healer, victoriously defeated cancer in the moment he decided to take my dad home to Heaven!  I like what John Piper says, “When our bodies die, we do not experience once millisecond of break in fellowship with God through Christ.”  Amen!  Christ is sovereign, even in cancer.  I have no doubt that my dad is playing tennis in heaven! Yes, I am mourning the death of my dad here on earth.  I have shed countless tears and will no doubt shed countless more.  I mourn the fact that I can’t pick up the phone and call him.  I mourn the fact that my children will not grow up with a lifetime of memories with him.  I mourn that my mom has lost her soul mate.  I will miss my dad every day for the rest of my life.  But I do not mourn like those with no hope.  God is a hope-giving God and he can carry out hope-giving miracles within us.  God is good in life and for those of who know the Lord as our personal savior, God is even better in death.  I mourn with hope-filled expectancy of the joyous day when I see my dad again in Heaven.  Praise God that this world is not our home and our citizenship is in Heaven! 

If our ultimate purpose in this life is to make much of Christ and do all things for his glory, then my dad has certainly been a valliant kingdom warrior. 

My dad made much of Christ in his marriage.  He selflessly served, honored and loved my mother for over 32 years.  Not once did he raise his voice or say an unkind thing to her.  His love for my mom most certainly was a reflection of the Lord’s love for us…just as God intended marriage to be.  Until he was no longer able, he joyfully served my mom by packing her lunch for work everyday, walking her to her car with coffee every morning, grocery shopping and preparing meals.  When my mom decided to go back to school to pursue her degrees, my dad was always her biggest cheerleader…supporting her each step along the way.  He proofread every paper she ever wrote from her bachelors degree all the way through her doctorate.    The love found in my parent’s marriage is a legacy that will live on for generations.  And let’s not forget my mom.  It takes two to make a marriage work and my mom has been equally selfless, loving, and compassionate to my father for the past 32 years.  Some said it was a love that wouldn’t last because of their age difference, but Satan and the world have no power tearing apart what God has joined together.  My dad made much of Christ in his marriage. 

My dad made much of Christ in his immediate family.  I could go on and on about ways he has treated me like a princess over the years.  He always joked that I might never get married because I would never be able to find someone to treat me as good as he did.  God truly had something special planned when I met my husband Raleigh.  Those of you that have known me a long time, know that I don’t really care for driving.  In fact, my parents had to make me get my driver’s license when I turned 16.  So it will come as no surprise that I really didn’t like driving back and forth from Birmingham to Nashville for holiday breaks during college.  My selfless dad would drive to Samford, pick me up, we would turn around and drive right back home.  Over 6 hours in the car just because I didn’t like to drive.  He did this for almost every holiday or school break the entire 4 years I was in college.  He was without a shadow of the doubt the absolute best dad any girl could dream of having.   

My dad made much of Christ in his extended family.  He was always willing to give and share everything he had.  He was truly the least selfish person I’ve ever known.  My dad knew that time was often our most precious commodity and he was always selfless with his time.  I cannot even count the number of times he made the effort to attend family events when most people would have stayed home.  Many times he would drive from Nashville to Cleveland after just receiving chemo or radiation, so that he wouldn’t miss a ballet recital, a graduation, or a family holiday.  My dad made much of Christ in his extended family. 

My dad made much of Christ in the community.  My dad was always the first to teach me the importance of leaving a good tip.  He was always kind and gracious to everyone he met, regardless of their status within the community.  He would work hard so that he could share his blessings with others. 

My dad made much of Christ in cancer.  My dad was the ultimate fighter.  Behind that gentle smile, was a warrior.  He outlived and out performed many doctors ‘diagnoses over the years as he lived with lupus and cancer.  When other patients would have thrown in the towel, he pulled himself up and did everything he could to live well.  His kindness never waivered even when you knew he felt terrible.  In fact during his recent time at the Baptist rehabilitation center, he mentioned that the housekeeping staff came by at 4:30am every morning to take the garbage out of his room.  He thought this was odd that they had to do it so early, but he said he always tried to have a conversation with them and be extra kind because he knew they had a hard job.  The doctors and nurses were always happy to have my dad as a patient because of his loving nature that was evident to all.  My dad made much of Christ in his cancer journey! And praise God that Jesus defeated cancer and victoriously took my dad home. 

Because my dad made much of Christ in every aspect of his life, I know that he would want Christ to be glorified in his passing to Heaven as well.  If you sit here and know that my dad’s response to hardships was something miraculous, you are right.  He had the power of the Holy Spirit living inside of him.  He personified Philippians 1:27 that says, “Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ.”  My dad spread the gospel through the way he lived his life in love and no doubt is now rejoicing with his Heavenly Father.   

A Season of Feasting and Mourning

It has almost been a month since my last post and much has happened.  Katherine and Jay Wolf often use the term "house of feasting and mourning" and I think that term aptly describes this season of life.  The events of the last several weeks are so intertwined that I am going to recap in a single post, rather than giving each life event its own post.  God has had his hands in every detail of the last few weeks and this post will serve as a memorial stone for me to remember God's faithfulness, even in a season of mourning.

My warrior dad has been courageously fighting lupus and cancer for many years.  Over the last several months the cancer began to spread more rapidly than before.  Many of you have rallied around our family to provide love, prayers, cards, and support over the years, but especially over the last few weeks.

Beau and I spent the two weeks prior to February 20th hanging out with my parents in Nashville.  Beau and Pipi had lots of fun hanging out together!

Snuggle time on the couch! 

Beau loves looking at pictures on Pipi's phone! 

Friends Forever! 

Mmm...homemade banana pudding!

Delicious! 

Wednesday, February 20: My dad had spinal surgery to remove a cancerous tumor from his spine.  He moved his toes the day after the surgery and quickly moved to an inpatient rehabilitation center.  When he was asked to set goals at rehab, he always told the nurses and physical therapists that his goal was to be in Atlanta on May 8th for Palmer's arrival.

Pipi was getting some attention from his grandsons Alex and Beau after his first surgery.  

After about a month of rehab, dad was ready to be discharged.  He would be living in a wheelchair, but he had successfully mastered his transfers from the wheelchair to another surface.

Popsicle time at rehab! All of the nurses loved to give Beau treats! 

Beau checking out the wheelchair ramp! 

Nana learned how to pop wheelies.  

Only a few days before he was scheduled to come home, he once again lost all movement below the waist and it was discovered that the cancerous tumor had returned.

Dad had a second spinal surgery but unfortunately he was not able to regain movement in his lower body.  Lots of other issues continued to occur and my dad's health declined rapidly.

Friday, April 12: I had my 36 week appointment and everything looked great.  There were no signs of labor or any other concerns.  My dad was scheduled to be moved to hospice, so we made the trip to Nashville that evening.   My last real conversation with my dad was that night.  He told me that I would have start relying on Raleigh now and he told me that we should continue our yearly beach trips.  He was completely alert at this point and we of course told each other we love each other several times.  We were with my dad when he was transferred to the hospice unit of the hospital.  He made the decision to receive hospice care at the hospital, rather than at home, so that my mom would not have those memories at home.  He was putting the needs of others above his own, even at the very end.

Sunday, April 14: I woke up in the middle of the night with hip pain.  I thought I had been sleeping in one position too long, but didn't think much of it.  The pain finally got unbearable and I woke Raleigh up, but I still thought it was hip/back pain.  Later in the morning it began to feel more like contractions.  Raleigh timed them on his phone and they were consistently 3-5 minutes apart.  I called my doctor in Atlanta and the nurse said that I was probably just under a lot of stress and instructed me to drink 3 bottles of water and take a warm bath.  I did both, but the contractions kept coming stronger.  By mid afternoon we decided it was time to go to the hospital and get checked out.  We called my mom's GYN, who is also a OB, and he happened to be on call that day.  Another miracle.

We dropped Beau off at my dad's hospital with my mom and cousin Erica and Raleigh and I headed about a mile down the road to another hospital.  We checked into the "triage" area and they hooked me up to a fetal heartbeat monitor and a contraction monitor.  After a few minutes of that, the nurse checked me and I was 4 cm dilated.  She said I was in active labor and she started the process to get me checked into a labor and delivery room.

Once I was in the labor and delivery room, the nurse that checked me said that I was already 7cm dilated.  Things were moving pretty quickly.  I didn't even have time to change into my fancy hospital gown that I had purchased on etsy. Ha! Since I was already 7cm, I wanted to try and see if I could make it a little longer without the epidural.  Eventually the contractions were so close together that there was no time to breathe between them, so I made Raleigh ask the nurse for the epidural.  About 10 minutes later the anesthesiologist and my doctor walked in at the same time.  My doctor said to wait and let him check me first.  I was already 9cm so he said the epidural would really do no good as it was already time to start pushing.  Well, to make a long story short, at 7:08pm central time, Palmer Cannon Gresham made his debut into the world at 36 weeks.  He was a healthy 6 pounds and 7 ounces and 18.75 inches long.  Praise God for a healthy baby!  My dad was doing his part to fight until the very end, and Palmer did his part by coming a few weeks early.  My dad thought he would be in Atlanta in May for Palmer's birth, but God wrote a different, yet beautiful, grace-filled, bittersweet, story.

Tuesday, April 16:  I celebrated my 30th birthday by being discharged from the hospital with a beautiful baby boy.  We went straight from my hospital to my dad's hospital and Palmer was able to meet my dad.  It was the best birthday gift imaginable.  The moments were precious and my dad just touched and rubbed little Palmer and kissed his forehead.  It was a miraculous hope-filled time for sure. My mom made my dad put on a nice shirt so he would look nice for the pictures.

Wednesday, April 17 & Thursday, April 18: We spent several hours each day at the hospital visiting with my dad.  He would come in and out of being alert, but mostly my dad just slept.

Friday, April 19th: This was the last day I visited with my dad.  He was pretty much completely resting at this point and only roused up a time or two during the day.  One time he "woke up" and the last thing he told me was to go home and get sleep.  Ha! Ha! Like I said before, even at the very end he was thinking of others first.

Saturday, April 20th: I did not visit with my dad this day as I could tell my body needed a bit of rest after labor.  I stayed home with Beau and Palmer and Raleigh and let my body heal a little.

Sunday, April 21st: My dad was welcomed into the arms of Jesus.  He and my mom were alone in the room when he went to be with the Lord and they were listening to their song.  What a beautiful gift for my mom to spend the last moments of dad's life alone with him.

God truly wove the story together in a miraculous way.  Friends and family surrounded us during this time of birth and death, joy and sadness, feasting and mourning, and allowed us to walk the road with grace that can only come from Him.