The Butterfly Effect

During my dad's time in hospice, one of his nurses from the oncology floor came down for a visit.  My dad was non-responsive at the time, but the nurse told us about how she believed my dad's life and legacy would have a butterfly effect.

The butterfly effect is the idea that even the smallest event, like the flapping of butterfly wings, can have a huge impact on the world.  

At the time, I didn't think much of it, but as time has passed, it has come to mean more.

In the three weeks since my dad's passing, I have heard more and more stories of my dad's impact on the lives of others.

Last week while I was in Nashville visiting my mom, we popped into Publix one night.  While we were there a sweet, young cashier approached us.  She told us how my dad encouraged her to go back to college.  She is now attending a community college in Nashville.  She told my mom that if she ever needed anything, just to let her know.  She could even "call in" her grocery order if needed and they would have it waiting for her at the front.  Let's be honest...most people do not take time to build relationships with the cashiers at the grocery store.  My dad had a transformative impact on her life by encouraging her to pursue a college degree.

One day my mom stopped to speak to the mail carrier.  The mail carrier mentioned how we had been receiving quite a few cards, so my mom told her that my dad had passed away.  The mail carrier told my mom how my dad had always been so kind to her.  She mentioned how he always gave her gifts at the holidays.  My dad really tried to show appreciation to members of the community that sometimes have thankless jobs.  The mail carrier told my mom her name and route number and said to contact her anytime if the USPS can ever do anything to help.

My parents have had the same gentleman take care of their lawn for many years.  The gentleman never raised his price after many years, so my dad gave him a "raise" one day and tried to teach him a little business savvy.  Now almost every family on my parent's street employs this gentleman to take care of their lawns....all because my dad helped him build his business and gain more customers.

The oncology nurses at the hospital sent my dad the kindest card during his final days.  In the card, they wrote a note to my parents.  They described how when my parents first came onto the oncology unit, the nurses were there to show support and care to my parents.  But in the end, they said that my parents made the nurses feel loved, safe, and cared for.  My parents entered each new day with hope and truly loved each other well during each season of life....in sickness and in health.  This love was evident to all, even during their stay on the oncology floor.  Each day of my dad's hospice stay, the oncology nurses would stop by for a visit because my dad had such a positive impact on their lives.

Several neighbors wrote letters to my dad.  One letter was written by a former marine.  He is a very kind man that my mom and I called on the morning of February 20th when my dad lost his ability to feel his legs.  We needed to get my dad to the hospital so we called two neighbors to help carry my dad down the stairs and help get him into the car.  During this event, my dad's mind was very sharp and he actually told the two neighbors the best way to get him down the stairs.  In his letter to my dad, this particular neighbor listed this characteristics of a marine and then went on to describe how my dad's life displayed each of the characteristics.  He ended the letter by saying that my dad would have made a great marine.

Another neighbor's heartfelt letter thanked my dad for all he had done for the neighborhood and for the love he displayed to my mom.

Since my dad's passing, my mom has had several visits from one of the local police officers.  My parent's home is in a very nice neighborhood in a great area of town.  But there was a time not too long ago when there was some riff raff happening on their street.  My parents were the first to notice the influx of cars coming in and out of a particular house.  My dad led the effort to "clean up" the street.  He did a ton of research and had it ready for the local police department.   He would take licence plate numbers of repeat cars coming in and out of the house in question.  My dad formed a bond with one of the police officers during all of this.  Basically my dad saw the patrol car one day, and just stopped him and told him what was going on and gave the officer the folder of all of the notes my dad had taken.  In the end, the swat team found drugs, counterfeit money, etc in the home.  The home has been sold to new owners and there is now a sweet, young family living in that home.  Had my dad not taken action, who knows how long the riff raff would have continued.  The police officer has increased patrol on my parent's street since my mom now lives alone and has given her his number in case she ever needs anything from the police department.

I don't think we will ever know the number of people whose lives my dad has impacted.  His legacy is already having a ripple effect in the community.  He treated people the way he wanted to be treated and people felt safe and loved and cared for when he was around.  He had a way to solve any type of problem.  Even if he didn't have the expertise to solve a problem, he could always find someone to help.

Just like the flapping of tiny butterfly wings has an impact that can affect weather patterns around the world, my dad's life is impacting people in more ways than we may ever truly know!